ter than leavin, so I stayed. 比如张国英的离去，我知道自己爱他，自己在意他，但是在权衡利弊之下留下比离开好，所以我留下了。 My love was rational and always accoanied by reason. 我的爱有着理智，并且始终带着理智。 If not for Liu Hao''''s pursuit, this n I both loved and feared, I ht never have one lookin for Zhan Guoyin in entire life. I would have forever kept love for Zhan Guoyin deep in heart. When I thouht of hi I would walk under the beonia flowers, which would have sufficed for a lifeti. 如果不是因为刘昊的追求，这个让我又爱又怕的男人，我也许这一辈子都不会去找张国英，我会把对张国英的这份爱永远地埋藏于心里。想他的时候就到海棠花下去散散步，就这样这一辈子就足够了。 When I encountered Liu Hao, I had no choice but to find Zhan Guoyin. At that nt, findin hiwas best option. 就是因为遇到了刘昊，让我不得不去找张国英。因为此时我只有去找他，才是我最好的出路。 If I hadn''''t t Zhan Guoyin, I ht have loved Liu Hao and possibly devoted life to hi advancin and retreatin toether, strivin toether, devisin strateies for hi and pacifyin the world. However, because of Zhan Guoyin''''s presence, I felt that it would be a betrayal if I fell in love with soone other than hi Zhan Guoyin could rry and love soone else first, but I couldn''''t allow self to be that person. 如果没有遇到张国英，我很可能会爱他，并且很可能会倾尽一生与他共同进退，共同拼搏，为他出谋划策，平定四方。可是因为有了张国英这一个人，我感觉如果我爱上了张国英以外的人，那么对张国英就是背叛，他张国英可以先结婚，先爱上别人，但是我不能允许我自己做那个第一人。 I wasn''''t entirely sure if Zhan Guoyin still felt the sa way about when I went to Lianzhou in the future. He ht have fallen in love with soone else or even rried by now. Neverth